FAQ
It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BDBAFH, however, does
have it's advantages. I reassign null to be the tape device - it's so much
more economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to change
tapes every 5 minutes. And it speeds up RMAN too, so it can't be all bad can
it? Of course not.

A user rings ...

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:34 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L

That sounds about right! You can get back to your boss
with a little sleep deprivation tactics. Beep him hourly
with the progress report and he'll trust you much more
the next time. You can even beep you bosses boss and tell
him that your boss told you to beep him hourly with a progress
report. That should read something like : "applied archive sequences
789001 to 789567, 3456 more to go". That might result in some
interesting career opportunities. One of these days I have to
start my very own BDBAFH site.
-----Original Message-----
From: Inka Bezdziecka
Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:14 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
Subject: RE: DBA work load


It is your own fault. You should have called all interested
parties with details as soon as that problem was resolved.
And remember: if by any chance the problem resolution takes
all night, call hourly with the progress report.

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 1:04 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L


Yes, of course. If, like last night, I needed to dial in
from home for 2
hours then I get compensated by coming in early the next day to answer
questions about what happened.


-----Original Message-----
Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2002 11:08 AM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L

Obviously, not all of those 168 hours are equally intense, requiring a
conscious person to be available on-call (you *do* get
compensated for being
on-call during off-hours, don't you?).
--
Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
--
Author: Miller, Jay
INET: JayMiller_at_TDWaterhouse.com

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Search Discussions

  • Gogala, Mladen at Sep 26, 2002 at 12:28 am
    Steve, this is great! I must bow to the master!
    -----Original Message-----
    From: STEVE OLLIG
    Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 5:54 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
    Subject: RE: DBA work load - BDBAFH #1


    It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BDBAFH,
    however, does
    have it's advantages. I reassign null to be the tape device -
    it's so much
    more economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up
    to change
    tapes every 5 minutes. And it speeds up RMAN too, so it can't
    be all bad can
    it? Of course not.

    A user rings ...

    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:34 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L


    That sounds about right! You can get back to your boss
    with a little sleep deprivation tactics. Beep him hourly
    with the progress report and he'll trust you much more
    the next time. You can even beep you bosses boss and tell
    him that your boss told you to beep him hourly with a progress
    report. That should read something like : "applied archive sequences
    789001 to 789567, 3456 more to go". That might result in some
    interesting career opportunities. One of these days I have to
    start my very own BDBAFH site.
    -----Original Message-----
    From: Inka Bezdziecka
    Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:14 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
    Subject: RE: DBA work load


    It is your own fault. You should have called all interested
    parties with details as soon as that problem was resolved.
    And remember: if by any chance the problem resolution takes
    all night, call hourly with the progress report.

    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 1:04 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L


    Yes, of course. If, like last night, I needed to dial in
    from home for 2
    hours then I get compensated by coming in early the next
    day to answer
    questions about what happened.


    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2002 11:08 AM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L

    Obviously, not all of those 168 hours are equally intense,
    requiring a
    conscious person to be available on-call (you *do* get
    compensated for being
    on-call during off-hours, don't you?).
    --
    Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
    --
    Author: Miller, Jay
    INET: JayMiller_at_TDWaterhouse.com

    Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
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    hosting services

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    Author: Inka Bezdziecka
    INET: IBezdziecka_at_cupe.ca

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    Author: Gogala, Mladen
    INET: MGogala_at_oxhp.com

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    Author: STEVE OLLIG
    INET: sollig_at_lifetouch.com

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    Author: Gogala, Mladen
    INET: MGogala_at_oxhp.com

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  • Tim Gorman at Sep 26, 2002 at 5:49 am

    It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BDBAFH, however, does
    have it's advantages. I reassign null to be the tape device - it's so much
    more economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to change
    tapes every 5 minutes. And it speeds up RMAN too, so it can't be all bad
    can it? Of course not.

    A user rings ...
    The phone rings. It'll be him again, I know. That annoys me. I put on a
    gruff voice:

    "Payroll!"

    "Oh, I'm sorry, I've got the wrong number"

    "Yeah? Well, what's your name, buddy? Do you know *WASTED* phone calls
    cost money? DO YOU? I've got a good mind to subtract your wasted time, my
    wasted time, and the cost of this call from your wages! IN FACT I WILL! By
    the time I've finished with you, you'll owe US money! WHAT'S YOUR NAME -
    AND DON'T LIE, I'VE GOT CALLER ID!!"

    I hear the phone drop and the sound of running feet - he's obviously going
    to try and get an alibi by being at the IT Director's office. I look up his
    username and find his department. I ring the department's executive
    assistant.

    "Hello?" she answers.

    "BDBAFH here. Listen, when that guy comes running into your office in about
    15 seconds, can you give him a message?"

    "I think so..." she quavers...

    "Please tell him, `HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE!'"

    "Um. OK. Like, sure..."

    "And, don't forget now, please? I wouldn't want everyone to find out about
    that table in your account with all of your passwords for in-house apps and
    credit card numbers for ecommerce sites in it..."

    A muffled cry and I hear her scrambling at her keyboard.

    "Don't bother. It's been backed up a zillion times; piece of cake to
    restore it. Just pass the message on like a love?" Over the phone, I
    can hear the distant sound of pounding feet growing louder in the
    background...

    She sobs her assent and I hang up. And the worst thing is, I was just
    guessing about the table. I look for it, find it, and bring it up in TOAD;
    maybe I can do some shopping online tonight...

    The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off, I pick it up...
    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:34 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L


    That sounds about right! You can get back to your boss
    with a little sleep deprivation tactics. Beep him hourly
    with the progress report and he'll trust you much more
    the next time. You can even beep you bosses boss and tell
    him that your boss told you to beep him hourly with a progress
    report. That should read something like : "applied archive sequences
    789001 to 789567, 3456 more to go". That might result in some
    interesting career opportunities. One of these days I have to
    start my very own BDBAFH site.
    -----Original Message-----
    From: Inka Bezdziecka
    Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:14 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
    Subject: RE: DBA work load


    It is your own fault. You should have called all interested
    parties with details as soon as that problem was resolved.
    And remember: if by any chance the problem resolution takes
    all night, call hourly with the progress report.

    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 1:04 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L


    Yes, of course. If, like last night, I needed to dial in
    from home for 2
    hours then I get compensated by coming in early the next day to answer
    questions about what happened.


    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2002 11:08 AM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L

    Obviously, not all of those 168 hours are equally intense, requiring a
    conscious person to be available on-call (you *do* get
    compensated for being
    on-call during off-hours, don't you?).
    --
    Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
    --
    Author: Miller, Jay
    INET: JayMiller_at_TDWaterhouse.com

    Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
    San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services
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    Author: Inka Bezdziecka
    INET: IBezdziecka_at_cupe.ca

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    Author: Gogala, Mladen
    INET: MGogala_at_oxhp.com

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    Author: STEVE OLLIG
    INET: sollig_at_lifetouch.com

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    Author: Tim Gorman
    INET: Tim_at_SageLogix.com

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  • Rachel Carmichael at Sep 26, 2002 at 11:03 am
    hm, now this might be good for a presentation when you come out in
    December... want to do this as the keynote?

    Tim Gorman wrote:
    It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BDBAFH,
    however, does
    have it's advantages. I reassign null to be the tape device - it's so much
    more economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to change
    tapes every 5 minutes. And it speeds up RMAN too, so it can't be all bad
    can it? Of course not.

    A user rings ...
    The phone rings. It'll be him again, I know. That annoys me. I put on
    a
    gruff voice:

    "Payroll!"

    "Oh, I'm sorry, I've got the wrong number"

    "Yeah? Well, what's your name, buddy? Do you know *WASTED* phone
    calls
    cost money? DO YOU? I've got a good mind to subtract your wasted
    time, my
    wasted time, and the cost of this call from your wages! IN FACT I
    WILL! By
    the time I've finished with you, you'll owe US money! WHAT'S YOUR
    NAME -
    AND DON'T LIE, I'VE GOT CALLER ID!!"
    I hear the phone drop and the sound of running feet - he's obviously
    going
    to try and get an alibi by being at the IT Director's office. I look
    up his
    username and find his department. I ring the department's executive
    assistant.

    "Hello?" she answers.

    "BDBAFH here. Listen, when that guy comes running into your office
    in about
    15 seconds, can you give him a message?"

    "I think so..." she quavers...

    "Please tell him, `HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE!'"

    "Um. OK. Like, sure..."

    "And, don't forget now, please? I wouldn't want everyone to find out
    about
    that table in your account with all of your passwords for in-house
    apps and
    credit card numbers for ecommerce sites in it..."

    A muffled cry and I hear her scrambling at her keyboard.

    "Don't bother. It's been backed up a zillion times; piece of cake to
    restore it. Just pass the message on like a love?" Over the phone,
    I
    can hear the distant sound of pounding feet growing louder in the
    background...

    She sobs her assent and I hang up. And the worst thing is, I was
    just
    guessing about the table. I look for it, find it, and bring it up in
    TOAD;
    maybe I can do some shopping online tonight...

    The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off, I pick it up...

    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:34 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L


    That sounds about right! You can get back to your boss
    with a little sleep deprivation tactics. Beep him hourly
    with the progress report and he'll trust you much more
    the next time. You can even beep you bosses boss and tell
    him that your boss told you to beep him hourly with a progress
    report. That should read something like : "applied archive sequences
    789001 to 789567, 3456 more to go". That might result in some
    interesting career opportunities. One of these days I have to
    start my very own BDBAFH site.
    -----Original Message-----
    From: Inka Bezdziecka
    Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:14 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
    Subject: RE: DBA work load


    It is your own fault. You should have called all interested
    parties with details as soon as that problem was resolved.
    And remember: if by any chance the problem resolution takes
    all night, call hourly with the progress report.

    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 1:04 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L


    Yes, of course. If, like last night, I needed to dial in
    from home for 2
    hours then I get compensated by coming in early the next day to
    answer
    questions about what happened.


    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2002 11:08 AM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L

    Obviously, not all of those 168 hours are equally intense,
    requiring a
    conscious person to be available on-call (you *do* get
    compensated for being
    on-call during off-hours, don't you?).
    --
    Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
    --
    Author: Miller, Jay
    INET: JayMiller_at_TDWaterhouse.com

    Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051
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    San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting
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    Author: Inka Bezdziecka
    INET: IBezdziecka_at_cupe.ca

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    Author: Gogala, Mladen
    INET: MGogala_at_oxhp.com

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    --
    === message truncated ===

    Do you Yahoo!?
    New DSL Internet Access from SBC & Yahoo!
    http://sbc.yahoo.com

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    Author: Rachel Carmichael
    INET: wisernet100_at_yahoo.com

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  • Conboy, Jim at Sep 30, 2002 at 7:58 pm
    The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off, I pick it up...

    "Database Administration, can I help you?" I answer professionally.

    Troubled silence on the phone. Politeness is a very bad signal from me and they know it. He was rattled.

    "Uh, hi, this is Joe, technical lead on that super-critical project for Benefits? Is this a good time? I have some stuff I need moved to production?"

    The last was a statement, but it came out like a question. With a slight quaver in the voice, too. Excellent. Technical lead my arse.

    "Could you be more specific so I can schedule you appropriately?"

    He hesitated. Gosh, I sounded for real. I almost convinced myself. The victim approached warily.

    "I've got a bunch of PL/SQL packages and some outlines to speed up the queries with special hints. The scripts are all ready for your review, they include the create statements, the grants, everything. I'm forwarding the email package to you with signoffs from IT, the user department, and your own from reviewing our design and test results". This last was delivered with almost pathetic eagerness. Good boy. Good, simple, foolish boy.

    If he could see me he'd be terrified by my grin. "Joe, I need you to help me out. You've just given me 10 minutes of work, but I'm due for lunch in 5 minutes. What do you suggest I do?"

    Joe knew better, he really did. But his team had been up all night finishing and the prize was so close...

    "Look, I really hate to impose. But we've missed several major deadlines, and department head has made it clear if we screw up again he'll outsource the whole project and have us laid off. I need it now so we can make sure everything's perfect for the big production run at COB today".

    "Consider it done," I promised cheerfully and hung up. I surprised him, and maybe myself, with my good spirits. Especially since I was more than 5 minutes late, closer to fifteen, and my buddies were already into their second beer when I joined them for lunch. But the extra 10 minutes had been well worth it considering what I managed to do to those hints with the outline editor. Just the same, though, I turned off my cell phone in case the twit called to find out why his 5-second queries took almost an hour. Can't have him taking me for granted, can I?

    Later that evening, after quaffing several (all right, numerous) more ales with the boys, I dialed in from home to check how things were going. Mr. Tech Lead was still logged in, no doubt desperately trying to determine why things were taking forever. Poor Mr. Tech Lead, another sleepless night. I logged off, turned out the light, and slept like a baby.

    Next morning, hangover. The phone rings. I snatch it up angrily...

    --
    Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
    --
    Author: Conboy, Jim
    INET: Jim.Conboy_at_trw.com

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  • Farnsworth, Dave at Sep 30, 2002 at 8:33 pm
    LMAO

    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Monday, September 30, 2002 2:58 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L

    The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off, I pick it up...

    "Database Administration, can I help you?" I answer professionally.

    Troubled silence on the phone. Politeness is a very bad signal from me and they know it. He was rattled.

    "Uh, hi, this is Joe, technical lead on that super-critical project for Benefits? Is this a good time? I have some stuff I need moved to production?"

    The last was a statement, but it came out like a question. With a slight quaver in the voice, too. Excellent. Technical lead my arse.

    "Could you be more specific so I can schedule you appropriately?"

    He hesitated. Gosh, I sounded for real. I almost convinced myself. The victim approached warily.

    "I've got a bunch of PL/SQL packages and some outlines to speed up the queries with special hints. The scripts are all ready for your review, they include the create statements, the grants, everything. I'm forwarding the email package to you with signoffs from IT, the user department, and your own from reviewing our design and test results". This last was delivered with almost pathetic eagerness. Good boy. Good, simple, foolish boy.

    If he could see me he'd be terrified by my grin. "Joe, I need you to help me out. You've just given me 10 minutes of work, but I'm due for lunch in 5 minutes. What do you suggest I do?"

    Joe knew better, he really did. But his team had been up all night finishing and the prize was so close...

    "Look, I really hate to impose. But we've missed several major deadlines, and department head has made it clear if we screw up again he'll outsource the whole project and have us laid off. I need it now so we can make sure everything's perfect for the big production run at COB today".

    "Consider it done," I promised cheerfully and hung up. I surprised him, and maybe myself, with my good spirits. Especially since I was more than 5 minutes late, closer to fifteen, and my buddies were already into their second beer when I joined them for lunch. But the extra 10 minutes had been well worth it considering what I managed to do to those hints with the outline editor. Just the same, though, I turned off my cell phone in case the twit called to find out why his 5-second queries took almost an hour. Can't have him taking me for granted, can I?

    Later that evening, after quaffing several (all right, numerous) more ales with the boys, I dialed in from home to check how things were going. Mr. Tech Lead was still logged in, no doubt desperately trying to determine why things were taking forever. Poor Mr. Tech Lead, another sleepless night. I logged off, turned out the light, and slept like a baby.

    Next morning, hangover. The phone rings. I snatch it up angrily...

    --
    Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
    --
    Author: Conboy, Jim
    INET: Jim.Conboy_at_trw.com

    Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
    San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
    to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in
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    also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).
    --
    Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
    --
    Author: Farnsworth, Dave
    INET: DFarnsworth_at_Ashleyfurniture.com

    Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
    San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
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  • Bob Metelsky at Sep 30, 2002 at 9:53 pm
    I don't know how he can live with himself....
    LMAO
    -----Original Message-----
    Sent: Monday, September 30, 2002 2:58 PM
    To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L



    The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off, I pick it up...

    "Database Administration, can I help you?" I answer professionally.
    --
    Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
    --
    Author: Bob Metelsky
    INET: bmetelsky_at_cps92.com

    Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com
    San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message
    to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in
    the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L
    (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may
    also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).

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